


Got Rice?

by mmmdraco



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Multi, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heero and Wufei aren't used to European food.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got Rice?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah. 
> 
> "Got Rice?" is by AZN Pride. I've changed the lyrics shown here to fit a bit better, and to take out a few racial slurs I felt were uncalled for.
> 
> ~lyrics~

Relena smiles serenely at the head of the table full of all of her "friends" from the war, glancing over at Heero who was staring down at the food on his plate. "Is something wrong, Heero?"

He glared at her. "Relena, what is this?"

She grinned. "It's your appetizer."

Wufei added in, "It doesn't look very appetizing to me. What exactly is this stuff?" He poked at it with his fork. "I know what most food is, except for what you Europeans eat."

Relena cleared her throat. "It's broiled foie gras with sliced truffles and caviar."

Wufei blanched and pushed his plate away. Heero did the same, glaring at Relena. "You invite me over here for dinner and serve goose liver, fish eggs, and something that grows in swine defecation? Why, thank you."

Suddenly putting down her fork, Relena took a quick chug of her water. After daintily wiping her lips, she smiled. "Is there something that the two of you would prefer?"

Heero stood up and snapped his fingers. The lights went off for a millisecond. When they came back on, Heero and Wufei were casually standing on top of the table dressed in baggy jeans, leather jackets, no shirts, dark sunglasses, heavy boots and backward baseball caps. Heero quirked an eyebrow that showed just above the rim of his glasses. "Got rice?"

Wufei jumped off the table, running over to Relena and pulling her chair back, bringing her feet up to prop them on the table, rapping at the same time. 

 

~Sit back, relax, and ease your mind.~  
~Listen up, right here is how the Asians rhyme.~  
~Sit back, relax, and ease your mind.~  
~Listen up, right here is how the Asians rhyme.~

Heero smirked, and began his lines.

 

~It's the A-Z-N, onna, f*** the rest~  
~Dial less to New York,~   
~Jigga, we the best.~

Wufei was back on the table now, accompanying him with a few head-bobbing "dance" moves. Heero continued.

 

~Vietnam to Japan to Mongolia,~  
~Phillipines to Taiwan to Cambodia,~

Flipping off his hat, and pulling off the band that held his ponytail, Wufei shook his head (the gesture received several appreciative screams from the audience) and added the next lines.

 

~Korea, ah, ah, hometown China,~  
~Who you got, huh?~  
~You got s***, onna, feel the size,~   
~It's the A-Z-N, better recognize.~

Heero kicked his plate off the table, letting the caviar fly and the fine china crack in indignation.

 

~Got rice, b****, got rice?~  
~Got food, got soup, got spice?~

Wufei did the same with his own plate, laughing at is smeared down the picture of Relena that hung on the wall.

 

~Got brains like us? Got skills like us?~  
~Got cars, got clothes, got girls like us?~

On the last part, he pulled Sally up from her spot at the table and kissed her roughly. Sally blushed and jumped up on the table with them. Heero began to quirk his hand out to Duo, but stopped. Instead, he just kissed him savagely and mouthed, "You're not Asian," to which Duo smiled and nodded. Heero took the next lines.

 

~Wuzzup, we the s***, and we kill ya'll fools.~  
~We got money in the bank from our family jewels.~  
~Can we help it if we raid and corrupt the schools?~  
~It don't matter, f*** the law, s***, we break the rules.~

By now, Heero had the rhythm, grooving to the beat that had mysteriously begun pumping into the dining room. 

 

~We jack cars, pop gangs, yo, we got the tools.~  
~Pump it up, break it down, then we shoot some pool.~  
~F*** with me, you f*** all, b****, don't think it's cool.~  
~It's one on one, f*** that it's three on one, no duels.~

Sally took the next bit, having mysteriously changed into a read Chinese silk dress with black flowered embroidery, lotus blossoms in her hair.

 

~Got rice, b****, got rice?~  
~Anything you can show that is nice?~  
~Got cash, got moves, got thoughts like us?~  
~F*** no, h***, you white. You'll never be like us.~

Wufei threw an appreciative arm around Sally's waist, holding her close. Heero pulled Duo up on the table, holding him close as well. Wufei grinned at the act, but continued.

 

~Take off the shoes when you enter, please,~  
~or crawl around on the floor with your f***in' knees.~  
~Don't mind the smell, you'll get used to it.~  
~Moth balls, fried squid, and that Buddah s***.~

Heero leaned down and picked up a fork, holding it up for inspection/ 

 

~What the hell is that? You think I don't see?~  
~No forks in the house; chopsticks only.~

He threw the fork in Relena's direction, laughing as it caught deep in the fabric by her left ear. Catherine stood up and clapped loudly, giving Relena her card to join the circus as a new "target" since she hadn't flinched. (She was too wide- and dry-eyed to notice.)

Sally was kneeling, performing a tea ceremony, offering the next lyrics along with a cup of the Asian brew. 

 

~Have a taste, don't be scared,~  
~Try the lemon tea.~  
~You don't want it? That's all right.~  
~Try the Phu Cong Ly.~

Heero whispered something in Duo's ear about trying Asian brew that made the boy's eyes go wide, and his smile grow wider.

As Duo nodded in absolute agreement, Heero finished off the lyrics, one hand already creeping under the edge of Duo's shirt.

 

~Got rice, b****, got rice?~  
~Got luck anytime you roll the dice?~  
~Your luck is bad unless you're runnin' high,~   
~'cause we thug for life, baby, Asian pride.~

The four members on the table were posed happily, Relena all but frozen solid in her chair, a fork still quivering by her ear, Catherine's card clenched in her white-knuckled hand.

She finally looked up at where Heero was happily snacking on Duo's neck instead of the "appetizer" he had been served. Duo seemed to have applied eyeliner, his eyes holding a decidedly slanted look that suggested an Oriental influence. Sally had her legs wrapped around Wufei's waist, happily kissing him.

Relena's bottom lip quivered and she finally realized she was holding Catherine's number. Sighing in remorse, she walked off to the phone and called out for rice, hoping she could at least convince Heero to teach her how to use chopsticks.


End file.
